Monday, March 28, 2005

Southern Fastfood Joint Throws Down Gauntlet on Burger King Fat Content Claims

Alpaharetta, GA – In a deft move to outpace Burger King’s latest breakfast offering, the “Enormous Omlette Sandwich”, Buford’s Grease House, a popular dining establishment in this Atlanta suburb has debuted its own offering, the Big an’ Greasy. “Them BK folks are all out talkin’ trash about their damn Omlette thingy – while Buford’s has always offered more fat for less money,” said Buford Turnipseed, proprietor.

The new Enormous Omlette Sandwich boasts three eggs, one sausage, three strips of bacon and three slice of American cheese on a bun, and weighs in at a whopping 700 calories and 47 grams of fat. “The EOS is frankly on the cutting edge of what we like to call “bulk consumption” commented BK spokesman Ted Blowfer. “In our test runs, entire Guatemalan villages were able to live on as few as two units of product per week.”

In response, Buford’s Big an’ Greasy, or "BanG" boasts 4 eggs, three ¼ pound beef patties, one scoop of lard, a coating of Cheez Wiz, is topped with Bac-Os and served with a side of cracklins and a defibrillator. “Guatemalan villages? What else you got? The BanG flat out weighs four and a half pounds! In our tests, my dog Suckit ate one and died fifteen minutes later, may the good Lord rest his soul,” remarked Turnipseed. “Any of them BK folks wanna belly up to a BanG, they best bring it on down to Georgia and I’ll set em up. On the house!”